In these last few days (hopefully not weeks 😉 ) that we prepare to move from a family of 3 to 4, I feel the collision of the end and the beginning tucked inside a single moment.
I’m not sure which moment that transition is but I am picturing the emergence of a body from inside my womb to outside in the world.
To my son
This is both an end and beginning for you. It’s the end of the life you have known for over 26 months now. It is the end of being the only child. It is the end of sole attention and full reign of the house — especially of the bed at nighttime. It is the end of some of our routines and patterns that have become so dear to us. It is the end of being the only grandchild and all the pleasures that have come with that. But I want you to know, this ending is full of a bright and beautiful beginning.
I hope that with the addition of this sibling, you find yourself even more confident and engaged in the world. I hope you find yourself feeling proud of your leadership and helpfulness, comfortable sharing when you feel weak, unheard or misunderstood, and excited about the opportunity to share experiences and perspective with someone who will forever be by your side. For these years, you have been a best friend to your father and I, but now we hope that all we have prepared in you will allow you to be a best friend to your younger sister also.
You see, I understand how hard it can be to see mom and dad‘s heart and attention be split to another child. I know sometimes it will be confusing and you will feel jealous and left out and like things are unfair. I’ve been there too. I know that there will be days that you wish that you had been the only child for ever and ever (Sorry sisters, but I’ve been there too.) I also know from my own experience that there will be so many days that you are grateful for this friend and playmate.
As the oldest, there will be many occurrences when your heart swells with pride as you see your sister grow and learn and accomplish new things. There will be sporting events or play productions or dances and you’ll feel so happy to be the big sibling who gets to share the moment. There will be things you can tell her that you haven’t told other people. You will probably even have inside jokes with your sister about your dad and I. While these next few weeks and months may feel like you’re losing something, may you also feel the warm love of gaining.
As we come close to the end of a family of three where you have felt and experienced the sole energy and attention, my hope is that it has filled you and prepared you to see all of our love grow as we collectively welcome your sister into it. Don’t forget- love doesn’t divide, it multiplies.
Originally published at www.strivelesslivemore.com.